By Audrey Delaney
An account of a scared and damage little lady who controlled to confront her demons and reclaim her lifestyles.
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Extra info for All My Fault: The true story of a sadistic father and a little girl left destroyed
She wanted to gather mushrooms before they were trodden on by the animals. We wouldn’t dare step into the field with her though ’cause we were terrified of the cattle. So she’d pick the mushrooms all by herself. I don’t remember what we did with them afterwards—whether Ma cooked them or what—but I’ve loved mushrooms ever since. They always remind me of how brave Nanny was. The second reason I remember that holiday is on account of the abuse I was forced to endure and all the insecurities and unnatural feelings that were left swarming around in my head all the time.
I remember being tired a lot after school. I would come home a lot of days, lie down on the couch and that was it, I’d sleep for the afternoon. This was a continuing habit of mine throughout my school years. I never got much sleep during the night and then during the day I couldn’t stay awake. This was a symptom of my body clock being all over the place. Most kids would fall asleep shortly after being put to bed, but not me. I hated going to bed because I knew Da would soon follow. In the beginning, I’d lie in bed waiting for him, my muscles rigid with tension.
She was in an awful position. The questioning went on for ages but my friend held her ground, refusing to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’. She eventually whimpered that I hadn’t been in school. I went to run but Ma caught me. She never hit me but she told me to get changed into my pyjamas and wait until Da got home. I was afraid of my da, but it was a different kind of fear than Ma thought. It wasn’t the threat of a spanking that scared me. I knew Da was capable of much worse. All evening I listened out for the sound of Da’s keys in the door.
All My Fault: The true story of a sadistic father and a little girl left destroyed by Audrey Delaney